Guys Write for Guys Read–ed. by Jon Scieska

Guys Write for Guys Read.  ed. by Jon Scieska.  New York: Viking, 2005.

Are you a guy?  Looking for advice?  Or maybe you’re a girl looking for advice on how to deal with guys?  Look no further:

“Guys BITE THEIR TOENAILS! This is an art form, not a disgusting habit!  If Olympic gymnasts could bend down far enough to bite their toenails, they’d win gold medals every time!  We defy the physical laws when we chew our toenails.  Not only should we not stop doing it–we should do it more often, and in public!

After guys BITE THEIR TOENAILS THEY CHEW THE NAILS UP INTO LITTLE PIECES AND SWALLOW THEM! Not an art form, really, but crunchy–yum!

After guys BITE THEIR TOENAILS AND CHEW THEM AND SWALLOW THEM THEY FIND A GIRL AND KISS HER! Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh!” (p. 218 )

Not the toenail type?  Not a problem; how about dessert instead?

“The cat puked up the pecan nut log.  Jeff, the youngest and smallest [of the brothers] (and closest to the floor) was the first to go.  He got one look and whiff of the pecan nut cat yack and blew his own sticky lunch all over the cat.  The puke-covered cat jumped on Brian.  Brian barfed on Gregg.  Gregg upchucked on Tom.  Tom burped a bit of Stuckey lunch back on Gregg.  Jim and I rolled down the windows and hung out as far as we could, yelling in group puke horror…Stick with your brothers.  Stick up for your brothers.  And if you ever drop a pecan nut log in a car with your five brothers and your cat…you will probably stick to your brothers.” (p. 216)

Sage advice, learned the hard way, is what this book is all about: guys’ favorite authors, writing about being guys, including tales like…

• My Maturity, in Flames
• Boys, Beer, Barf, and Bonding
• My French Teacher Tried to Kill Me
• My Entire Football Career
• Bombs, Girls

For these and other stories (high school guys CANNOT afford to miss Chris Crutcher’s story, but it can’t be printed here), check out Guys Write for Guys Read.

The Astonishing Adventures of Fanboy and Goth Girl–by Barry Lyga

Lyga, Barry.  The Astonishing Adventures of Fanboy and Goth Girl. Boston: Houghton Mifflin Company, 2006.

“Fanboy has never had it good, but lately his sophomore year is turning out to be its own special hell.  The bullies have made him their favorite target, his best (and only) friend seems headed for the dark side (sports and popularity), and his pregnant mother and the step-fascist are eagerly awaiting the birth of the alien life form known as Fanboy’s new little brother or sister.

Fanboy, though, has a secret: a graphic novel he’s been working on without telling anyone, a graphic novel that he is convinced will lead to publication, fame, and–most important of all–a way out of the crappy little town he lives in and away from all the people who make it hell for him.

When Fanboy meets Kyra, a.k.a. Goth girl, he finds an outrageous, cynical girl who shares his love of comics as well as his hatred for jocks and bullies.  Fanboy can’t resist someone who actually seems to understand him, and soon he finds himself willing to heed her advice–to ignore or crush anyone who stands in his way.

But Kyra has secrets, too.  And they could lead Fanboy to his dreams…or down a path into his own darkness.”

The King of Mulberry Street–by Donna Jo Napoli

Napoli, Donna Jo.  The King of Mulberry Street.  New York: Wendy Lamb Books, 2005.

Beniamino’s family in Napoli, Italy, is very poor, but pretty happy.  They have each other, they have enough food to get by, and most importantly they have their Jewish faith.  When his mother wakes him up very early one morning and asks him to be very quiet while they sneak out of the house, Beniamino is excited at the surprise trip and enjoys spending time with his mom.  But then she gives him some rather mysterious instructions:

“‘First of all, simply survive…Watch, like you always do, watch and learn and do whatever you have to do to fit in.  Talk as little as possible–just watch and use your head…Nothing can stop you, tesoro mio.  Remember, you’re special, a gift from the Most Powerful One.  As soon as you can, get an education.  Be your own boss…Don’t undress with anyone around.  Ever.  Swear to me.”  (p. 23-24)

Just like that, he finds himself stowed away on a cargo ship, on his way to America.  Alone.  He vows to fight his way back to his mother in Napoli, and he does fight fiercely…but how much fight can you put up with no home, no family, no knowledge of English, no money, and no place to turn for help?

“Nothing was going right…I went back to the alley with the dead dog.  I threw pieces of a crushed wooden box into a half-empty barrell to make a clean layer on top of whatever was inside.  Then I climbed in…I recited every one of Nonna’s charms I could remember–charms to keep evil at bay.  That was where I spent my first night in America…” (p. 84)