Guys Write for Guys Read–ed. by Jon Scieska

Guys Write for Guys Read.  ed. by Jon Scieska.  New York: Viking, 2005.

Are you a guy?  Looking for advice?  Or maybe you’re a girl looking for advice on how to deal with guys?  Look no further:

“Guys BITE THEIR TOENAILS! This is an art form, not a disgusting habit!  If Olympic gymnasts could bend down far enough to bite their toenails, they’d win gold medals every time!  We defy the physical laws when we chew our toenails.  Not only should we not stop doing it–we should do it more often, and in public!

After guys BITE THEIR TOENAILS THEY CHEW THE NAILS UP INTO LITTLE PIECES AND SWALLOW THEM! Not an art form, really, but crunchy–yum!

After guys BITE THEIR TOENAILS AND CHEW THEM AND SWALLOW THEM THEY FIND A GIRL AND KISS HER! Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh!” (p. 218 )

Not the toenail type?  Not a problem; how about dessert instead?

“The cat puked up the pecan nut log.  Jeff, the youngest and smallest [of the brothers] (and closest to the floor) was the first to go.  He got one look and whiff of the pecan nut cat yack and blew his own sticky lunch all over the cat.  The puke-covered cat jumped on Brian.  Brian barfed on Gregg.  Gregg upchucked on Tom.  Tom burped a bit of Stuckey lunch back on Gregg.  Jim and I rolled down the windows and hung out as far as we could, yelling in group puke horror…Stick with your brothers.  Stick up for your brothers.  And if you ever drop a pecan nut log in a car with your five brothers and your cat…you will probably stick to your brothers.” (p. 216)

Sage advice, learned the hard way, is what this book is all about: guys’ favorite authors, writing about being guys, including tales like…

• My Maturity, in Flames
• Boys, Beer, Barf, and Bonding
• My French Teacher Tried to Kill Me
• My Entire Football Career
• Bombs, Girls

For these and other stories (high school guys CANNOT afford to miss Chris Crutcher’s story, but it can’t be printed here), check out Guys Write for Guys Read.

The Wall–by Peter Sis

Sis, Peter.  The Wall.  New York: Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 2007.

Peter is a regular guy.  He’s into rock music, forms a band with his friends, and gets a job as a DJ on a radio show.

(excerpts from Peter’s journal)

February 1967: I form a rock group with my friends, but we have no instrument and we haven’t settled on a name yet.  My father makes me get a haircut.  I paint people with long hair.
May 1967: We start making instruments.  It’s hard to make an electric guitar.  You plug it into the radio and it blows a fuse.
August 1967: Hop-picking time again—a good way to meet girls.  After working all day, we get together and sing Beatles songs.

Everything’s great, except for the wrench in the works: he lives in Czechoslovakia during the Cold War.

(more excerpts)

January-February 1969: Jan Palach and Jan Zajic, students, set themselves on fire to “wake up the nation from lethargy.”
1970: Vetvicka, a fun guy and bass player, died of head injuries after the police beat him in the melee following the Beach Boys concert.
1976: The Plastic People of the Universe rock band are in prison.  I used to argue with them, and do not care for their music—but prison?

Peter is a regular guy, but he lives in a world full of lies and brutality.  For his story of resistance, you’ll need to read on…